Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
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hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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