My room smells like vodka and shame
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize