Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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