just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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