we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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