Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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