sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize