You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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