so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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