You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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