She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you remember whose house we're in?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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