The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
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you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
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Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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