The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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