I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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