You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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