Your mouth is God's brothel.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize