The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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