we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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