...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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