did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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