you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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