in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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