so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
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My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize