I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
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I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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