I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize