There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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