I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize