Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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