no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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