he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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