do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize