I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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