Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize