garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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