Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have so much sex to catch up on
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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