So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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