i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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