Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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