I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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