He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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