I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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