If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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