I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize