What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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