So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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