Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize