Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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