I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
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I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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