apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize