her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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